For Your Only Eyes

This portfolio was presented as an undergraduate senior thesis in 2008.

Every person in these photographs has a sibling: another person who shares their parents, their family history, their childhood home, their blood.

Unlike all of my subjects, I am an only child. Throughout my childhood, adolescence, and even young adulthood, I have always been acutely aware of this absence.

This portfolio represents a year I spent observing and photographing siblings in order to see inside the relationship I've missed so much in my own life. It is clear that in many of these pictures, I am a part of the story. Sometimes this is because of my relationship with the subjects — several of them are my cousins or close family friends — but more often than not, it is because I desperately wanted to be part of their sibling bond, even as I was only the observer behind the camera. And my view through that lens is always, of course, mediated by my own loneliness, curiosity, longing, and even jealousy.

I catch myself noticing siblings on the street or in the subway and wondering what I would find if I photographed them. I look for their matching sneakers or jewelry; I search their faces for identical noses or mouths; I watch their gestures for the same smile or nervous tick. And I look at my own self — my hands, my knees, my freckles — and I realize that no one shares them with me.

Although you may not share my only child experience, I think every viewer can bring some form of 'only-ness' to these images. I invite you to look at these pictures through your only eyes...